Thursday, August 11, 2011

Rough edges

I’m tired.

Today, I am tired. I am discouraged. I am saddened.

I want to give up. God says, ‘Press on.’

I have realized over the last few weeks how deeply exhausted I am. How tired I am of fighting so hard for everything. Can’t anything be easy? Can’t I just have a refrigerator that works all the time and I don’t have to think about changing the tank? Is it so much to ask for a day of running errands without the hassle? Can’t anything ever go as planned? And don’t even get me started on hot water! 

My strength is over. It’s finished.

I was talking to a friend the other day and he said he felt so stripped of everything he didn’t even think God could use him anymore. My response to him— that’s exactly when God can use you. I guess this is one of those times I need to take my own advice. But that, of course, is not always easy.

Today was filled with rough edges-- A confrontational meeting, traffic, disappointing news about choices that some kids are making, a child afraid to smile, a small boy still limping three years later, a brand new fence… busted.

And of course today's rough edges just build on the ones from yesterday. 

I am not meaning to sound sorry for myself, just being honest. Today was a rough day. I am tired. If it was up to me I would be curled up in the fetal position—done. I am even discouraged that I am discouraged.

Some of this may be true. Some may be hormonal. Some may be situational.

The day may have had rough edges, but there is so much more. There is the beauty of a child’s laugh, a hug, an interlaced hand-hold, coffee in the morning, sunshine in the afternoon, someone who cares enough about me to fix my favorite dinner. 

A God who says, ‘Press on,’ when I don’t want to anymore, and then gives me the strength to do it.

“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on… I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Phil 3:13-14, 4:13

2 comments:

caron said...

Oh Deb. I will pray extra extra for you tonight. My dear friend, don't lose sight of the fact that you're doing the Lord's work there, not your own work. Just hand over your discouragement to the Lord and let Him provide comfort and simple peace. These issues are not yours, they're His. Love you my friend. I'm very proud of you.

Tabitha Ruth said...

Prayer from Isaiah 40
Comfort, comfort my daughter,says your God. Speak tenderly to my Debbie.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,but the word of our God endures forever.” You who bring good news to my people,go up on a high mountain.You who bring good news to Africa,lift up your voice with a shout,lift it up, do not be afraid; say to the towns of Liberia,“Here is your God!”
See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power,and he rules with a mighty arm. See, his reward is with him,
and his recompense accompanies him.
He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that care for his young.
Praise you Lord for you are with us when we are weak and make us strong! Strengthen and comfort my friend. Give her rest and peace as only you can give her. Let her prayers be heard and answered I pray I plead! I throw my arms up thousands of miles away and pray she feels my hug. Lord let your love hold my friend tight and let her be on your lap with her head resting on your shoulder for as long as she needs to be revived in her spirit in her hope in you day after day.