I’m tired.
Today, I am tired. I am discouraged. I am saddened.
I want to give up. God says, ‘Press on.’
I have realized over the last few weeks how deeply exhausted I am. How tired I am of fighting so hard for everything. Can’t anything be easy? Can’t I just have a refrigerator that works all the time and I don’t have to think about changing the tank? Is it so much to ask for a day of running errands without the hassle? Can’t anything ever go as planned? And don’t even get me started on hot water!
My strength is over. It’s finished.
I was talking to a friend the other day and he said he felt so stripped of everything he didn’t even think God could use him anymore. My response to him— that’s exactly when God can use you. I guess this is one of those times I need to take my own advice. But that, of course, is not always easy.
Today was filled with rough edges-- A confrontational meeting, traffic, disappointing news about choices that some kids are making, a child afraid to smile, a small boy still limping three years later, a brand new fence… busted.
And of course today's rough edges just build on the ones from yesterday.
I am not meaning to sound sorry for myself, just being honest. Today was a rough day. I am tired. If it was up to me I would be curled up in the fetal position—done. I am even discouraged that I am discouraged.
Some of this may be true. Some may be hormonal. Some may be situational.
The day may have had rough edges, but there is so much more. There is the beauty of a child’s laugh, a hug, an interlaced hand-hold, coffee in the morning, sunshine in the afternoon, someone who cares enough about me to fix my favorite dinner.
A God who says, ‘Press on,’ when I don’t want to anymore, and then gives me the strength to do it.
“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on… I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Phil 3:13-14, 4:13