An abandoned baby with a birth defect.
An unconscious 19 month old boy who's been having seizures.
Two separate mother's who have passed away.
A 17 year old who drowned.
A broken leg.
A goiter that needs to be removed.
Unable to pay school fees.
Unable to pay rent.
Unable to feed family.
Lost job, and all money stolen.
House destroyed by fire.
These are the needs that have been brought to my porch in just the last few weeks. These needs represent family and friends and people in my community. Each one has a face and a name I know. The level of need is unmeasurable. It is so deep I have gotten lost somewhere in between. I can't help them all. I wish I could. I don't even know if helping them is really helping them. Can I change the employment situation, the culture, the beliefs of an entire country? It goes so far beyond me.
I received an e-mail from a friend that said that she thought I sounded discouraged, or at least heavy hearted. I think that is the word, my heart is heavy from trying to carry the burden of them all. I know it is not my job. I need wisdom, discernment that does not come from me.
Matt 11:28 says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." I have turned to this verse many times in the past when I was feeling weary. Now, feeling burdened, it brings new hope.
Please believe me dear friends, I am not discouraged. I don't know how that can be, except that my God is sustaining me. However, the weight of need that is around me is too heavy for me to carry. I am trying to let go, to be wise, to show compassion and understanding. I feel like I need a force field.
(PS- thanks to all for the response to help Oretha. I believe more than enough money has been promised and I am hoping that her surgery will be scheduled soon. I'll keep you posted. See, God does provide!)